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There is a seemingly endless supply of Christmas movies in Hollywood, which makes it difficult to choose which one to watch during the holiday season. But sometimes it feels like if you’ve seen a few, you’ve basically seen them all. Most of them feature happy little elves or Santa Claus or a magical plotline that involves saving Christmas in some way or another.
But sometimes, you just don’t want that. When you’re in a bad mood or at a period of peak stress, happiness and joy is often one of the last things you want to see. Luckily, there are a few select Christmas movies that are perfect for all you Christmas cranks out there.
‘National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation’ (1989)
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation centres on Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) as he tries to create the perfect Christmas for both his immediate and extended family. The problem is, everything goes wrong, and Clark’s dream Christmas (and his sanity) slowly begins to spiral out of control.
Throughout the film, he spends hours setting up Christmas lights only for them to not work, his estranged cousin-in-law comes for an unexpected (and unwanted) visit, Christmas dinner flops specatcularly, and Clark’s uncle accidentally burns down the Christmas tree. The icing on the cake? His company cancels their annual Christmas bonuses. Even though it all works out for the better in the end, the majority of the movie sees Clark getting rightfully angry at all of his misfortunes.
‘Violent Night’ (2022)
The recently-released Violent Night is a Christmas-themed action/comedy movie starring David Harbour as Santa Claus. He is on his annual gift delivery run when he realizes that one family in particular has been taken hostage by a group of mercenaries.
Santa, being very drunk from a late night out at a pub, decides to take matters into his own hands and fight the mercenaries who have captured the wealthy family. It’s a pretty surreal experience, but a drunk Santa killing villainous hostage-takers is hilarious nonetheless.
‘Krampus’ (2015)
Krampus may not be a fantastic movie, but it is certainly unique. The concept of the film is that too many kids have been naughty during the year, so Santa Claus decides not to come. Instead of dishing out coal to naughty children, he sends a horrifying Santa-from-Hell to dish out murder instead.
That’s right: Krampus is a horror movie. The film features a family who desperately tries to escape the Christmas demon known as Krampus. The character itself is actually based on a figure from Alpine folklore, where he is portrayed as being equally sinister.
‘Die Hard’ (1988)
The debate around whether Die Hard is a Christmas movie or not is an argument for another time. What stands true is that the movie does, in fact, take place during Christmas. But that’s about the only connection the movie has to the holiday. There’s no Santa, no elves, and no “saving Christmas” plotline.
The movie is about a man’s daughter getting kidnapped and held hostage, and the brutal journey he takes to rescue her. Starring Bruce Willis, the movie wound up spawning multiple sequels, though none of the others are Christmas-themed (with the exception of Die Hard 2). Regardless, if holiday joy isn’t your thing, you can always watch this movie to see Bruce Willis kill numerous people.
‘A Christmas Story’ (1983)
A Christmas Story may be a little lighter than other films, but it’s still a great pick if you prefer a non-traditional Christmas movie. The film is firmly rooted in reality, and nothing supernatural happens at all, which of course means Santa does not appear. The story instead focuses on the life of a young boy named Ralph (Peter Billingsley) as he eagerly anticipates the holidays.
Throughout his various misadventures, multiple things go wrong for him and his family. His father wins a hideous lamp as a prize that Ralph’s mother despises, which pits the two against each other. On top of that, Ralph is viciously bullied, and the gift he wants so desperately is deemed too dangeous for a kid of his age. On top of that, their Christmas dinner is eaten by the neighbour’s dogs. Once again, even though it all works out in the end, it’s a rough ride to the happy ending.
‘Bad Santa’ (2003)
Bad Santa is what happens when your local mall Santa is secretly a thief, with his elven assistant being a sex-addicted alcoholic. This dark comedy film earned surprisingly good reviews from critics considering its ridiculous premise.
Santa and his elf of course are only posing as performers in the mall, and their real motive is to gain access to the mall so that they can rob it at night, when all the customers have gone home. This results in some pretty grim, albeit hilarious situations, especially in the way that the fake mall Santa interacts with the children.
‘The Mean One’ (2022)
You’ve most likely seen one of the various Grinch movies based on the book by Dr. Seuss. But you’ve never seen it adapted quite like this. Also recently released, The Mean One shows the Grinch (David Howard Thornton) in a way he’s never been shown before, as in this version, instead of being a troubled individual who just needed some kindness, he is a bloodthirsty killer.
Instead of wanting to join the villagers in their festive celebrations, he terrorizes the town instead, making the joyful Christmas season a nightmare for the people of Newville.
‘Black Christmas’ (1974)
Black Christmas is a Canadian slasher flick that was actually remade in 2006, and again in 2019. But the original is way better. The movie is based on a Montreal-based urban legend, though the movie takes place in the city of Toronto.
This Christmas horror movie features a killer who goes on a slashing rampage during the holidays, beginning with a sorority house’s Christmas party. The film is something of an underrated classic, or a cult film if you will, as it earned good reviews, but wasn’t seen by very many people.
‘Scrooged’ (1988)
Scrooged is a more modern retelling of Charles Dickens’ novella A Christmas Carol, a story which has been done nearly to death in Hollywood. You can find several dozen interpretations and adaptations of the classic Yuletime story. Scrooged stars Bill Murray as Frank Cross, a re-imagined Ebenezer Scrooge, who is a cynical and grumpy television executive who hates Christmas and everything about it.
Naturally, Cross also finds himself subjected to visits from three Christmas ghosts who seek to change his mind for the better. The difference is that this movie is a little less family-friendly, and opts for a more PG-13 storyline rather than the classic G-rated story.
‘Jack Frost’ (1997)
You’re likely familiar with the 1998 family flick Jack Frost. You know, the one where a boy’s deceased father is reincarnated as a snowman? Imagine if you took a similar premise, but made it completely the opposite. Instead of a snowman being possessed by a friendly spirit, the snowman in this horror flick is a serial killer whose genetics have fused with snow in a freak accident.
A cult classic that’s so bad it’s good, this is a movie that may not necessarily scare you, but will most certainly make you laugh at how dumb it is. Whether that was intentional or not on behalf of the filmmakers is unknown.
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