What I learned from job interview mistakes

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There are few feelings more unnerving and cringe-inducing than leaning against a wet bathroom counter right before an important job interview. There are certainly worse things in life, but the embarrassment of wet pants while wearing my best (and only) suit stays with me to this day. Although, to be honest, I should have predicted this, but earlier my new silk tie fell in the sink, so it was pretty obvious how the day would turn out.

I’d like to say that this was an exception in a largely successful career, but unfortunately it was just one of several awkward and unsuccessful interviews.

I once got dressed for an interview early in the morning in the dark and later noticed that I had put on one blue sock and one black sock. I had also forgotten my belt. I spent much of this interview sliding my legs up to hide my ill-fitting socks while trying to keep my pants up. I still feel that if the interviewer had made a genuine effort to get to know me instead of just asking overused scripted questions, I would have completely forgotten about my socks and pants and done better.

Throughout my career, I have found this to be the key – figuring out how to make interview subjects comfortable. Even though I work in HR, I can’t handle the interviews as a candidate. I have never felt comfortable in a formal interview and this has reflected many times in my 20-year career, often with embarrassing results.

The in-person interviews were as challenging for me as the awkward first date, and I’m sure the employer wished he had never swiped right on my application. Based on some of my job interview experiences, I wouldn’t hire myself!

Stiff or formal interviews often made me feel like an inadequate misfit. If you want to really get to know me and see if I’m a good fit for your organization, don’t corner me with another tired, overused job interview process. Pair me with a genuinely curious interviewer who prefers interactive conversation to cross-examination, and you’ll get to know the real me. Once some trust and understanding is built, I’ll be happy to share my experience, what I’ve learned along the way, and why I might be a good fit for the job.

In one interrogation, um, I mean interview, an interviewer was taking notes so enthusiastically that her notebook flew across the table and landed in my lap. My joke about my elite ball-catching athleticism – and flying notebooks – was met with a bored blank stare. I later got feedback from this interview that I was throwing a bunch of “junk” at the wall hoping something would stick. So much for my elite athletic skills!

After another failed interview, I was told I was “low energy and lacked enthusiasm.” I remedied this in a follow-up interview with espresso beans and an energy drink. I definitely wasn’t low energy back then, but as you can imagine there were other issues as well. On the plus side, I had a quick workout in the gym that day.

All of these terrible experiences are fodder for my current work—teaching managers to hire better leaders by changing the way job interviews and performance reviews are conducted. The challenge – as I know all too well – is to really get to know the interviewee and “peel the onion” to better understand their motivations, drivers, traits and so on. This is often a new experience for both interviewers and interviewees, who are more comfortable with standardized questions that focus on past successes rather than eliciting character.

Moving away from boring clichéd questions that candidates have studied and rehearsed to death works for me. The two-way engaging discussion means I, too, can comfortably ask about the organization, culture, work and other things that interest me.

My appreciation for this new way of interviewing—focusing on character, not just job accomplishments—became evident when I applied for my current position. It took several interviews – three different senior managers on three different phone calls. But for each call, we slipped into a conversation comfortable as a fleece. After some light banter about kids, hobbies, and weekend activities, I enjoyed learning about these people and the work they did. I felt like I was reading a really good book. Even when the question focused on something I couldn’t do, I felt comfortable enough to be honest. I was asked about my interest and experience in HR analytics. While I was eager to join this team, I never considered bluffing my way through the question. Instead, I recommended a colleague who I knew would salivate like a dump dog at the opportunity to apply his passion for analysis.

I later told my wife that even if the discussions didn’t lead to new work, I hoped to stay in touch with them, as their passion for their work was contagious. But it turns out that being completely honest and not trying to be something I’m not has its rewards. After all, I was hired and have been in a role that fits my skills better than analysts for almost two years.

Applying for a job is never easy. But it’s amazing how much you can learn about someone just by being nice and curious. And as a bonus, with many interviews now taking place virtually, no one will ever know if you’ve been leaning on the counter of a wet toilet.

Bernie Goodman lives in North Vancouver.

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