Ten personal details you should never mention in a job interview

It makes me nervous to learn that since I started interviewing people for jobs in 1980, I have interviewed job seekers for 36 years. As a 20-year-old and fledgling executive at a small company in 1980, I didn’t receive any training before being thrown at my first job interview.

I just talked to the person in front of me like I would talk to anyone. I asked them about their lives so far (we were the same age) and they asked me about work. Since then, I have interviewed thousands of job candidates. They’re in a tough spot because much of the conventional wisdom about job seekers tells them to whine and beg for the job at an interview. In fact, this is one of the worst things you can do in a job interview.

Managers hire people they trust to take care of some of the manager’s problems. Who trusts someone asking for a job? Conventional wisdom is wrong. You don’t have to contort yourself into pretzel shapes to get a good job. Just because a manager may ask you questions about one tool or skill set or another, it doesn’t mean you have to have that experience to get the job.

Many job seekers get nervous at job interviews, and who can blame them? A traditional job interview is a stressful situation. When we get nervous, we can start pouring out details from our personal lives that have no place in a business conversation.

No one interviewing you for a job needs to know the horror story of how you left your last job. They don’t need to know who lives with you or how you supported yourself between jobs. It can be tempting to unload on a sympathetic interviewer, but it’s not a good idea.

Here are 10 personal details you should never share in a job interview:

Financial matters

It’s easy to slip up and say something about your deteriorating financial situation, but it can’t help you get the job and can easily hurt you. I totally understand if you’re proud of how you handled the challenge of missing income, but your financial life is none of your future manager’s or any interviewer’s business.

Problems in relationships

Many job seekers are accustomed to explaining their situation by telling the personal story behind the job search, such as, “I moved to Atlanta with my husband in 2013, but then he lost his job and I was supporting both of us, and then we got divorced last summer right around the time I got laid off.”

Many empathetic people will sympathize with you in your challenging situation, but your personal life is not a good topic to bring up in a job interview conversation.

Besides the fact that some people are biased, any mention of relationship problems can throw you out of the running for a job because people might think, “We don’t need that drama here.” Keep your personal stories to yourself.

Legal issues

There is a movement in the United States to ban employers from asking job applicants whether or not they have ever been convicted of a crime. There’s no reason to bring up any trouble with law enforcement or any other kind of legal predicament at a job interview. “I’m being judged by my ex-partners, but I’m sure I’ll prevail, hehe” is not a statement that will build anyone’s trust in you. Leave your legal situation completely out of the job interview conversation.

Illness or injury

If you have taken time off work due to illness or injury, you do not need to disclose this at a job interview. You can say that you have taken a personal vacation, something that is the privilege of every person to do when they want and can afford. You don’t need to go into detail about why you took some time off the conveyor.

Let your interviewer assume that you made a fortune at your last job and had the means to take a break – after all, that’s the American dream! You don’t have to disclose a health problem when conducting an interview, but why would you want to? If you can do the job without any accommodations, it’s better to keep your medical condition to yourself.

Family plans

Employment discrimination based on pregnancy isn’t legal, but that doesn’t stop some employers from engaging in it. Sometimes managers don’t know the law. They’d rather hire someone who isn’t pregnant than someone who is. There’s no need or reason to reveal your pregnancy in a job interview unless you want to. Similarly, if you are in the process of adopting a child, you can share this news or not as you wish.

Unpleasant departure from your last job

Our stories of our sudden and even comical departures from previous jobs would make for many watchable movies and readable comics, but that doesn’t mean these stories belong in a job interview! You can say, “We agreed to break up – our relationship was over,” or “I was ready for something new.” No matter how nice your interviewer seems, keep your bad job breakup stories out of the interview!

Religious affiliation

Unless you have a very specific reason to share your religious affiliation in a job interview (a good reason might be “I was asked what religion I follow because the company is built around a certain religious tradition and they only hire members of that religion”) don’t.

Political views

Religion and politics are the two topics we are most often told to avoid at work, and that includes job interviews!

Managed engagements

It’s always fun to talk about our hobbies and activities outside of work. As a job seeker, you may be sensitive to the risk of sharing too much about your most important pastimes, especially if they sound like time-consuming activities that will consume a lot of your energy.

A future manager may not understand that you can balance your job and your role as president of your local dachshund rescue very well. If your commitments outside of work are tolerable without special schedule constraints, there is no point in mentioning them in the job interview.

Complaints about former bosses

It’s been said before and I’ll say it again: Resist any urge you may feel in a job interview to berate, badmouth, belittle, criticize, satirize, or defame any past boss, no matter how bad the boss was. Your friends will listen and laugh along with you as you tell your stories about bad bosses, but they’re not about broadcasting a job interview, no matter how friendly the interviewer is.

How can I stop babbling in a job interview?

Many job seekers find it helpful to “get into character” for a job interview the night before. They find a quiet place to sit and think about the job opportunity, the people they will meet and the likely business pain behind the vacancy. They get into their role for the scene they will play – the job interviewer – the next day.

They imagine walking into the interview room and shaking hands. They preview the entire conversation. They run through likely job interview questions and tell their Dragon Slaying Stories in their head. After some contemplation of the character they will play in the interview conversation, they feel more at home. The interviewer gets easier.

The last interview tip is to wear yourself out. Being out of breath and out of breath does wonders for your nerves, comfort level, and even your tone of voice. If you can find a staircase near the interview location, run up and down the stairs three or four times.

Be exhausted so you have to really recover. This is the time when your body will be in the best shape for an interview – without any nerves. You will still be breathing deeply when you walk into the interview. You will be more relaxed and easier to stay in your body this way. Try it!