Rejection of a job doesn’t have to sting

The second you get a rejection phone call or email from your dream company, you immediately try to figure out why. But the answer can be elusive, especially if the person on the other end isn’t giving you much information to go on. The author presents several possible reasons why you didn’t get the job, plus five ways to learn from rejection to position yourself for success in future interviews. First, take the time beforehand to think through in-depth questions that will give you a more realistic picture of a prospective employer. Second, think about the job you didn’t get and whether it really fits your values. Third, hone your interviewing skills by remembering the questions you were asked and how your colleague reacted to your answers. Fourth, see if you can get feedback from your interviewer. Finally, to develop resilience, understand what kind of self-care you need to heal after rejection.

When you apply for a job at your dream company, you hope, maybe even pray, that you’ll make it through the interview process and get an offer. After all, this is the company you always wanted to work for. So when you don’t get an offer, it can feel devastating, but it doesn’t have to. Here’s why rejection happens and how you can learn from it to position yourself for success in future interviews.

Why rejection happens

The second you get a rejection phone call or email, you immediately try to figure out why. But the answer can be elusive, especially if the person on the other end isn’t giving you much information to go on. There are several possible reasons why you did not receive an offer:

There was a “better” candidate.

This may seem like the most obvious reason, but “better” doesn’t always mean better than you. Sometimes it just means different. After a job is posted and candidates are interviewed, hiring managers sometimes realize they can use skills or experience they didn’t know were needed. Or your skills and abilities may be exactly in line with what the hiring manager needs, but there are always intangibles that aren’t listed, such as wanting a product manager who has worked on a new product, or wanting someone who is insatiably curious about the world around them. If another candidate demonstrates these intangibles during the interview process, they may be “better” because they can contribute and bring value in a different way.

You haven’t tied your skills and experience to the role.

You may have all the necessary abilities and experience, but the hiring manager needs to understand how you will apply them to this particular role. Too many people focus on talking about their accomplishments but neglect the actual job description. Truly understanding the role and articulating how you would apply your skills and abilities to it is key to helping the hiring manager visualize how you can bring value to the team and organization.

You have a cultural mismatch.

It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person! Every company has a specific culture. For example, if your success comes from making unilateral decisions, but this company makes all decisions by consensus, you may quickly become disillusioned. The last thing a hiring manager wants to do is hire someone who doesn’t fit into the team or company culture. While you may believe you can adapt to fit the environment, the hiring manager will predict your success based on how you describe your work style and preferences during the interview process. There’s nothing you can do if they don’t believe you’ll fit in with the team or the overall company culture.

The scope of work has changed.

After a job is posted, changes in the company can change the scope of the job – for example, maybe someone left the team or there was a reorganization of functions. Although a company should update and post the job accordingly, not all do.

The job has been paused or cancelled.

In uncertain economic times, hiring can be put on hold or even canceled while companies figure out their short-term and long-term strategies. Although the job may still be posted, a company may not interview for it or stop the process after you’ve already interviewed. Some companies rescind offers after they’ve made them, essentially firing employees before they even start. It’s not personal or a reflection of your skills and abilities — it’s the very reset of the business.

Learning from rejection

Rejection stings, and not knowing why you were rejected can cause you to start talking negatively about your skills and capabilities. Here are some ways to learn from rejection and move on:

Understand that a perfect job is not always perfect.

It’s normal to romanticize jobs and companies based on what we read or hear about them. And part of the interviewer’s role is to sell you on the job and make it seem amazing and exciting from their first contact with you.

If you’re not selected for whatever reason, use the rejection to reset that romantic vision and remind yourself that no company or job is as perfect as it’s made out to be. To get a more realistic picture of a prospective employer the next time, take some time beforehand to think about deeper questions than Tell Me About the Culture. For example, during your next interview, ask the hiring manager, “Can you give me an example of how you developed an employee?” or “Is there a common thread of being a star performer on your team?” This will help you assess whether a company will take your development seriously and how the company values ​​and evaluates its employees.

Think about your values.

When we’re desperately looking for a job—any job—we don’t focus on what’s important to us and whether the role will contribute to our overall satisfaction. Take a step back and think about the job you didn’t get and whether it really aligned with your values. This exercise will help you make sure that when you do find work, it will be fulfilling.

Sharpen your interviewing skills.

Going through each interview process allows you to practice your interviewing and messaging skills for your next job interview. When I was trying to change careers from an entertainment attorney to an HR professional, I was asked why I wanted to make the change. I would say, “I want to help people.” One hiring manager said that’s not HR’s role; the role is to align people skills and abilities with business objectives. I knew this, but I had never said it in an interview. So, in the next I changed my main messages and got the job. Remember the questions you were asked and how your colleague reacted to your answers. Which answers worked and which didn’t? Did the hiring manager rephrase what you said more succinctly? Do you have an opportunity to make your message clearer or change your messages entirely?

Include feedback.

If you can get feedback from your interviewer, you will have useful information to apply to your next interviews. This is a neutral party’s perspective on how you were perceived during that short period of time they interacted with you. Even if you don’t agree with the feedback or it doesn’t resonate with who you are, consider the 2% rule: What if 2% of it was true? Use the feedback as fuel to develop your skills or change your approach to the interview.

Develop resilience.

The more you get rejected, the more resilient you will become as you learn to bounce back from disappointment. Once you know you didn’t get the job, figure out what kind of self-care you need to heal—for example, doing an activity you’re good at and enjoy, like bowling, painting, or exercising. Knowing how you feel in that moment and what it takes to move forward will give you a formula you can apply when you face failure.

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Hiring managers can sense negative energy during the interview process. Making rejection part of your training will help you reframe it as one step closer to a job that’s right for you. The sooner you learn what gets you going, the easier it will be to look at the next round of interviews as the next challenge to overcome.