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Popularly known as the short-haired Auburn Queer, Prartana, a Bangalore-based queer content creator, has managed to reach thousands of hearts with her videos. Spurred into action by the lack of content in the Queer community in India and a desire to create the content she would like to see, Prarthana now has 4.63k subscribers on you-tube and 15.2k followers on Instagram. While sharing her thoughts on being an Indian lesbian, when asked to describe her job in one line, Prarthana says, “I woke up in the middle of the night with a weird gay thought and decided to break the internet“.
Q: What was your childhood like? What was it like to be a Queer student in such times and in a society like ours? Would choosing a different discipline help reduce the number of challenges you face?
A: I went through most of my high school and college years fully aware that I was part of the LGBTQIA+ community. I knew the language about it and had access to information about it. I have never been confused or faced any problem like not knowing how to put it into words.
“If anyone was talking about Queerness on the internet, it was usually a white person, someone from the UK or America, and ended up spreading the idea that being Queerness was a Western concept. So I think my intention behind creating the content I create was to feed my own need for it.”
prayer
In terms of discipline, I completed my education from commerce stream and completed hotel management and most of the people around me were straight, more interestingly there was no awareness of the Queer community. Most of the people I knew who self-identified as queer were part of some sort of humanities or arts program, perhaps because those disciplines were pushed a bit more. So sometimes I wanted to go for something more artistically inclined, but parents were never very supportive of that.
I had already done enough “scandalous” things being openly queer.
Q: What is your focus when making the videos? You have to have some kind of target audience in mind, right? How does your content help them? What impact does your work have?
A: I definitely aim for the content to be for someone who might struggle with something like this, those who can’t fit in because of heteronormative norms, etc. Actually, when I was 15-16, when I tried to google or something like Indian Lesbians on Youtube, I never got good results. If anyone was talking about Queerness on the internet, it was usually a white person, someone from the UK or America, and ended up spreading the idea that being Queerness was a Western concept. So I think my intention behind creating the content I create was to feed my own need for it.
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There are very few openly queer Indians on the internet and even if there are, they usually don’t talk about it much and it becomes more of a way of life. I agree it’s not like they’re putting their experience out there, but if someone is looking for some kind of acquaintance or connection, then they offer it in a very half-hearted way and it feels empty. But if someone can help connect with each other, such as by posting stories, memes, or educational information, it’s done anonymously, but when they put their face out there, maybe the connectedness increases.
As for the feedback part, I received extremely kind feedback. At first I was very closed off about my own coming out story, but when I put it out there, people found it relatable, found it was their story too. This is a very common experience and many more people than we realize go through it, it’s just that due to social pressure the story doesn’t come out.
“Adding humor somehow helps to normalize these discussions. I don’t really know how many people use comedy to talk about Queerness in India, but I think a lot of Queer people use humor to ease the pain, the isolation they feel. That’s why I think Queer meme pages are so popular, if it’s lighthearted then people interact more openly. I understand that some things can’t be joked about, so I try to make sure I’m joking about my own personal experiences and not someone else’s or generalizing them to a community level.“
prayer
So, in terms of impact, I think it gave a lot of people the message that they’re not alone, and a lot of people have contacted me saying they’ve been able to muster up the courage to come out to their friends and family. In fact, they told me they found partners through comments. Sometimes the beat goes right over my head, it’s very compelling, I even feel less alienated because of it. It’s a give and take process.
Q: Youtube as a platform is very popular in India irrespective of the age group a person belongs to. In this context, how do you see YouTube’s role in India in terms of creating awareness for the Queer community?
A: I think Youtube is the best platform to post stuff. Some of my videos that can really be considered impactful are the longer videos where I talk a little more, share more experiences. In terms of reach, Youtube reaches fewer people than Instagram, which is much more explosive. But when it comes to impact, Youtube has a more concentrated impact. Like in the last 5-6 years, Indians have started using these platforms, especially Youtube, very actively, making a name for themselves, pushing their content there. And if we don’t have Queer voices there, then it will be forgotten for another chance.
Q: What made you come up with this idea to start a channel? Generally there is some outside influence, was there any outside influence for you? What was?
A: There was certainly one incident that offered me external encouragement. My best friend started a Youtube channel when we were in college, a project that talked about social issues, feminism, mental health, etc. Since I was part of the LGBTQIA+ community, she asked me if I would like to do the video. That video is still on my Youtube channel and it’s called “Being a Lesbian”.
I ended up searching for Indian lesbian on Youtube and my video was in the top three. I was struck by the lack of content and also by the scope, relatability and comfort with one’s own identity that a video like this offers. This kept bothering me and finally during the pandemic period I started my own channel.
Q: How do you see the role of comedy in broader social change and awareness in India for the LGBTQIA+ community? Sometimes people say that content focused on humor diminishes the seriousness of the issue, so a balance needs to be maintained. What is your opinion on this?
A: I think those who add content for the Queer community on various platforms are very serious about it. They range from something as simple as what LGBTQIA+ means to something as complex as the intersectionality of being a queer feminist, etc., they have taken the issue seriously. So when I myself had to explain these things to people, I didn’t have the literary finesse to do it, the best way I found to deal with my experiences was to joke about them, and the best content I liked, was when the creators joked about it.
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Adding humor somehow helps to normalize these discussions. I don’t really know how many people use comedy to talk about Queerness in India, but I think a lot of Queer people use humor to ease the pain, the isolation they feel. That’s why I think Queer meme pages are so popular, if it’s lighthearted then people interact more openly. I understand that some things can’t be joked about, so I try to make sure I’m joking about my own personal experiences and not someone else’s or generalizing them to a community level. It allows a wide range of people to relate to the content, and even those outside the Queer circle can relate to the fun part of it. It takes the homophobic part out of it and normalizes the discussion.
Q: What are the unique challenges, societal pressures, or even comments/trolls you face as the face of Urban Queer?
A: In the first year and a half, apart from the odd comment or two, I hardly received any odd hate comment as such. More than hate, the tone was always ignorant. If I had a funny answer, I usually answered them through videos. But I was a little surprised, I expected more such comments, then I realized that my content reaches a very niche audience, which consists only of those who know something about the subject before. I recently made a video debunking the idea that same-sex marriage is a Western concept.
Even if people perceive it to be a western concept, then democracy, parliament, food kitchens are also western, then why just exclude that. I guess it was something that the general audience could relate to and then I got a lot of nasty comments, personal attacks, swearing etc. which was clearly against Instagram norms and it was hard for me to deal with , while I struggle quite a bit with my temper at times. I didn’t know how to deal with them, how to have a logical argument with someone who doesn’t care about you as a person. Then I thought that at least they were engaging me, I ended up reporting a lot of Instagram pages, but I don’t think it worked. I was quite disappointed with the platform I was on. It eventually died down, but it was an experience as it made me realize that I was reaching a very niche audience until then.
Q: Where do you want to develop your initiative? What is the vision for the future?
A: My intention to create this content was because I wanted to create it and I had fun doing it. That’s why I said no to most cash collaborations. I would ask them, “Have you ever hired an LGBTQIA+ person and they’re like, we’re open to everyone, but no one has come to us.” And I always wanted to say that you have to put in a little effort.
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So I don’t see that as the future of what I want to do. Apart from continuing what I am doing now, I really want to use my reach to have some events right now in Bangalore and later expand them to other places. I want to create offline spaces where people who feel lonely or don’t know how to find people or romantic interests can be helped.
Also, I want to do a series where my experience takes a backseat and I talk to other Queer people who are in a certain professional field like marketing, law, journalism, and ask them about their experiences. This is so that the younger Queer people know that they can grow up to be whatever they want and there is always a way to make it all work out.
FII thanks Prarthana for her time and illuminating insights into her work. You can follow her on Instagram.
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