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Things are vanity, learn to give: Dr. Stanley Kamau, Chief Executive Officer, Ahadi Kenya Trust
Our organization has helped nearly two million people infected with liver disease get their lives back. You cannot become impoverished by giving, and you cannot lose focus by giving. I probably would never have gone to school or succeeded in life if it wasn’t for the community that helped me growing up.
So I’ve learned that it’s important to always look back and see what the community has done for you so that you can also give back and bring other people to where you are, because in the next few years who knows? Maybe I’ll be the one looking for help in old age, and I’ll probably be looking for people who support the elderly.
That’s why it’s important to always look back at where you came from. Maybe my goal is to give back to the community. All other things are luxuries – they are vanity. You can’t do anything with a lot of money. What you have to do is what you will be remembered for.
Be made of rubber: Dan Aceda, founder and CEO of SemaBox
I started singing, then I became a producer. Then the pandemic came and I had to close the studio. After a while I started getting calls from people who wanted to do podcasts, so together with Baraza Media Lab we set up a temporary studio; we would set up in the morning and get off at 2pm. The first podcast was in September 2020. Today, SemaBOX has produced over 700 podcasts.
I think I’ve had a lot of transitions in my life where I’ve had to let things go. My philosophy is that you’re going to win in the end and if you don’t win, it’s not the end. I think you should be made of rubber – no matter how hard you fall, you should be able to bounce back.
It is so important because many things can happen to you in life that you never even thought could happen. It is very important to stay focused and positive. You can struggle and then the other side happens almost instantly.
Listen to your child: Mwende Mwinzi, Ambassador of Kenya to the Republic of Korea
One of my most memorable moments is from a young age; I was actually in kindergarten in Mombasa. Something happened and my hair was cut. I think there was a head lice epidemic or something.
Everyone made fun of me. I was devastated. My father came to the school and I told him about it. He put me in the car and drove me home and I never went back to that school. The lesson for me, especially as a mother, is that it’s these little moments of your child’s vulnerability that you have to take on the level.
When your child comes up and says, “I need to talk to you,” listen. Take your time. Open your inner ear, because it is those moments when a child feels left out, in something that you may see as an insignificant thing, that he remembers and that shapes his worldview. How you approach things.
If you shut them out or don’t respond, they may resist coming to you with their problems and may take their problems elsewhere where they can be victimized. So always have time to listen to your children and be sensitive to their feelings and respond to them.
Most of the things you fear probably won’t happen: Ezra Chiloba, Director General, Communications Authority of Kenya
My most prized possession is a mat I got from Botswana in my youth. In the early days of my career, I was more focused on environmental and human rights issues. The NGO I was working with took us on several trips designed to change the way we thought and looked at the world, so this time we were in Botswana. The year was 2005.
Thirty of us had to spend the night in the open, in a Hell’s Gate-like gorge in the middle of nowhere, with a mat and a blanket as a mat, no dinner, 100 meters from the next person. It was a place where people went to sacrifice animals and hunt; there were wild animals, especially buffaloes, elephants and wild cows.
Colin, the man speaking, said: “Every once in a while you might come across a snake. But you will be alone until we meet tomorrow morning at 8 o’clock.
So we were scattered, and the only advice they gave us was: “If you hear something strange, if you feel a dangerous animal coming towards you, do not move. Stand still and don’t move.” It was the longest night of my life!
I don’t know if I was dreaming or if these animals were coming, but every time I closed my eyes I could hear them. For 12 hours, until 8 o’clock the next morning. And the sun rose, and we were still there.
Each of us was told to take our mat and blanket back home to our homeland as a reminder. Nothing had happened to us, we had survived, alone. So the mat became a symbol of victory for me. Facing your fears and all the things we went through in that particular space.
You learn that you can go through almost any experience and still come out victorious. And many of the things we fear are not necessarily true. Or the things we fear will happen most likely won’t happen. So face your fears and live your life.
Life is hard, but it goes on: David Gatende, Non-Executive Director, Davis & Shirtliff
One thing I know for sure about life is that it is hard. We live in a fallen world, so progress itself will never be easy. And people are so frustrated because they plan that “When I’m 25 I’ll have done this, when I’m 35, 40, 50, 60” and so on, but life is never a straight line. It is a zigzag and you will have setbacks. You take two steps forward, then three steps back – sometimes it’s five steps forward and not one step back. That’s life.
But the second thing I learned in life is that it goes on. Will there be others after me who will take the mantle from me and move things forward? So our responsibility is really to our generation. What difference did we make while we had the energy, while we had the resources we had? If we have done well, then we can be proud.
Some you win, some you lose: Juliet Nyaga, CEO, Karen Hospital
My mom’s favorite line, which she even taught my son, was, “Some you win, some you lose.” So the idea of winning it all never existed. You were never meant to be the best in every subject in school, you were never meant to be the best in every sport, and you were never meant to be the best in every extracurricular activity. You have your strengths and weaknesses and you have to accept that.
This mentality helped me overcome my struggle to have a second child. My first pregnancy at 23 was easy, a textbook example of how pregnancy and birth should be. So when I got married at the age of 33, I was like, “Yes, it’s time to have more babies! And it will work like clockwork, just like last time!”
Did not happen. So from 33 to 39 it was this challenge, this journey of not having a baby by either not conceiving or not making it past the first trimester. I tried IVF (in vitro fertilization) which ended in disappointment.
In this mental capacity to say, You win some, you lose some, I was able to say, “Stand up Juliet. It didn’t work out this time. Brush up, let’s try again! Let’s try and keep trying.
In the end, we settled on surrogacy. Everyone’s journey is different. And if you can accept that your journey will be different, instead of being ashamed or embarrassed about it, you will live a happier life. Don’t carry other people’s burdens on your shoulders. Just wear yours, with a sense of dignity.
I said, “Okay, it’s not going to happen, I’m not going to carry this second child, it has to be through a surrogate mother.” And that’s the route I went and I’m very happy! He will be seven. I can’t believe it! It was a wonderful trip.
Don’t let anyone’s idea of you become your reality: Emily Korir, CEO, BET Global
At age 38, a year and a half after my stroke, a friend hosted a luncheon for several ladies. She invited another friend of ours who was very supportive but asked that friend not to take me because at the time I was still drooling, I was paralyzed on my right side and she thought it would be awkward for this to happen at her table .
My friend was really hurt and told me what was said. I was also hurt and cried for a long time. I ended up talking to my mother and grandmother. Both of them, in their own way, told me, “You can’t let someone else’s idea of you become your reality,” and then I knew that only I could decide who my friends were and what I could do. I can’t let someone else’s perception of me become my reality.
Never feel sorry for yourself: Praveer Vohra – Director, Sarova Group of Hotels, Resorts and Game Lodges
I went through a lot of personal tragedies, but there were some interesting lessons from my father. One of them was to always be honest with yourself and never feel sorry for yourself. Just because you had a bad day or something bad happened to you, never feel sorry for yourself. Self-pity is the worst thing you can experience. That is not the mentality of a winner.
The lesson has come in handy whenever I feel, “Ugh, life is hard,” something tragic has happened, or someone has lost someone. I have broken many bones and I will always remember my father’s words: Never feel sorry for yourself. If you go through life feeling sorry for yourself, then you will never achieve what you want. Because there will always be something you can blame.
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