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I first met Vancouver-based filmmaker Manny Mahal in 2017 when I programmed one of his films for the DOXA Documentary Film Festival. In a single continuous POV shot, For my mother traced his mother’s last steps to South Vancouver before she was killed in an accident.
The film was screened on Mother’s Day. In the Q&A after the screening, Mahal talked about making the film. He also talks about his mother and the person she was: passionate hockey fan, devoted parent, traveler and adventurer, character through and through.
This month, Mahal released a documentary on CBC Gem. For My Father is told from the point of view of Mahal’s father, Inderjit. His father is a very different subject: he is unruly (at first), stubborn, nagging, but also a charming screen presence when he finally succumbs to the filmmaking process.
For My Father is a fascinating journey that takes decidedly unexpected routes, some extremely funny and others heartbreaking. It is also a story about two men growing up in two very different worlds: India and Canada. The complexity of the father-son relationship is often fraught at the best of times. Add in the subtleties of culture, the generational divide, and a bit of untold family history, and you have the recipe for a compelling story.
Tyee asked Mahal about the process of making his new film with his father, how it affected their relationship, and what exactly is going on with those 80s costumes.
This interview has been lightly edited for length and clarity.
The Tyee: Did it take a lot of convincing to get your father involved in making the film?
Dear Manny: He was definitely hesitant at first, and when he first agreed, I think he thought it was just going to be a day of interviews. It turned out to last for months. But to my dad’s credit, when I explained to him how important it was to hear his story, he let it all out. There wasn’t a single question or story that I could hold back, and that’s the only reason I could go on a trip like this.
Without going into spoilers, did you have any guesses about the family dramas depicted or was it a complete revelation to you?
Absurdly enough, almost every story was a complete revelation. In the first 23 years of my life, I don’t think we ever engaged in a conversation longer than 10 minutes. It wasn’t out of malice or ill will, I was just a spoiled second generation Canadian who never thought about the privileged childhood I had. And my father rarely wanted to open, for a reason I would find out had a lot to do with his older brother, a man whose name I didn’t even know until we sat down to talk about his story.
What was behind your decision to physically embody your father in the film (ie wear his clothes, grow and/or cut your hair)?
It was only after I recorded all these interviews with him and released them that I felt they could be dramatized. Some were funny, some were suspenseful, some were downright stranger than fiction. Then the director’s lightbulb went off and I thought these stories deserved proper cinematic treatment and you know what, so did Dad. And if anyone can be a dad, it’s going to be me.
“I’m living a life my father never dreamed of. But it means he lived a life I could never relate to,” says director Mani Mahal (right) with his father Inderjit (left).
Still from For My Father via CBC Gem.
Did you have any apprehensions about telling a story that is so deeply personal, not only to you, but to other members of your family?
To be honest, I had no concerns. Because I’m lucky enough to have an incredibly supportive family. They have supported the entire journey of this project from day one. Even when I asked to shoot scenes in their homes, they opened their doors wide. I was given complete freedom to present our family history. There would be no film without this level of support.
Many men have complicated relationships with their fathers. How did the experience of making your film change your relationship with your father?
Our relationship has changed immeasurably. Before this project, I think we both thought the other was an alien. And rightfully so. I mean my dad grew up in the scorching hot villages of India and I spent my childhood in freezing cold ice rinks in Canada. So when I was younger I thought he would be the last person I should go to if I needed advice or guidance in my life in Canada.
But as I learned about the struggles my father went through coming to Canada, working as hard as he did for his education, and his strength in overcoming the tragedies that befell our family, I began to see him as the man on whose shoulders I could be prouder to stand. And there’s no way I’d ever see it that way if it weren’t for this project.
Your father is quite a compelling character on screen. Did he start to enjoy aspects of the filmmaking process after going through it with you?
I think he might have enjoyed himself too much to be honest! At first he didn’t know what was going on around him. I was setting up lights, microphones and cameras. He would sit there looking completely confused. But at the end he would just ask “how long until the shot?” like a veteran producer, then say “Okay, come get me when you need me” like you were going back to his trailer or something!
He really went from humble interviewee to accomplished A-list talent just like that. Even when I was shooting scenes where he wasn’t physically needed, he would come down just to hang out with us, share more stories and even make fun of me with the other crew members. I certainly didn’t expect him to go about the process in such a funny way.
Your mother is also a big part of the story. Did you understand her life differently after making the film?
One of the big revelations during the process was learning that my mother supported my father when he was studying. I had grown up in the classic gender-segregated household where dad went to work and mom stayed home. But when my dad told me how my mom worked at UBC so she could pay for my dad’s college tuition, it blew my mind.
She was the original breadwinner of our household! And hearing my father talk about it made me realize how much love was shared between my parents. How they both shouldered the burden of raising a family, making the sacrifices they had to make, and how much dedication they both had to give us the best life they were capable of.
It is these stories that have given me a lot of strength in my life today.
“For My Father” is showing on CBC Gem. ![[Tyee]](https://i0.wp.com/thetyee.ca/design-article.thetyee.ca/ui/img/yellowblob.png?resize=16%2C16&ssl=1){kind=small}
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