Whitey Harwood’s From the Wood Shed: It’s all in the movies – Salisbury Post

Whitey Harwood’s From the Wood Shed: It’s all in the movies

Published 12:00 am Sunday, September 25, 2022

Here goes a quote from Aphra Behn: “The perfect tranquility of life, which is nowhere to be found but in retreat, in a faithful friend And in a good library.”

Here goes a story by Carl Blankenship on page 4A, Sunday, Sept. 4, in the Salisbury Post: “RPL (Rowan Public Library) driving membership during library card month.”

Here goes some questions for the right-wingers, left-wingers, flag-wavers, tree-huggers, letter-writers, drunk-drivers, balloon-releasers, whistle-blowers, baby-boomers, senior-citizens, tax-preparers, people on a fixed-income and Laurie Lyda-Library Service Manager:

Do you read the Salisbury Post?

Did you read it on Sunday, Aug. 21 (Page 3A)?

The headlines were:

• “Man Accused of Sex Offenses in Rowan and Randolph counties”

• “20-Year-Old Charged with Multiple Counts of Statutory Rape Involving 13-Year-Old-Girl”

•  “Sex Offender Accused of Having Illegal Images on Phone.”

Did you read the Salisbury Post on Thursday, Sept. 8 (Page 1A)?  Here’s the headline:  “Man Convicted on Charges of Sexual Assaults of Children.”

Did you ever watch the movie “The Shawshank Redemption?’’

Did you know that it is IMDb’s top-rated movie of all time?

Did you know it is R-rated And you can’t check it out at RPL?

Here goes what a reviewer had to say about it: “I was and am profoundly moved by this simple and eloquent depiction of hope and friendship and redemption.

“I work at a branch library and one day as I was checking ‘The Shawshank Redemption’ out to one of our older patrons, she said to me, ‘Whenever I feel depressed, I check out this movie And watch it and it always makes me feel better.’ ”

Do you think she lives in Rowan County?

Now I’m gonna give you some information on one of my favorite movies, but, I’m not gonna tell you the name of it because when I get finished describing it, I’m scared it will get censored and maybe burned.

After you get the popcorn, gather up all the children so they can watch it with your parental guidance — it contains mature thematic elements, sexuality, substance abuse, pre-marital sex, cig-a-butt smoking, female nudity, racism, deception, loss of virginity, Jim Crow, father and daughter incest, abortion and some violence.

Are you getting the picture yet?

That rating system ain’t what it’s cracked up to be. And RPL has abused it long enough.  In C.B.’s story he stated RPL has 75,000 active card holders.  Am I the only one in 75,000 that’s over 17 years old and enjoys watching R-rated movies?

Can I get a witness?

It seems like the thing to do to get more people to get cards would be to get some movies for people over 17 years old.

Everybody knows about Jim Crow, but not too many have figured out Jim Snow and that RPL and the rest of Roco is still in the Jim Snow Era.  And it’s time to get real and be progressive and not be so backward all the time.

If you can’t connect the dots, go back and read the headlines and the stories I pointed out.

If you still don’t get it, I can’t help you.  Just keep watching “Charlotte’s Web.”

By the way, “It’s All in the Movies” was a No. 1 song for Merle Haggard in 1975.

This politician went in the library and ordered a BBQ sandwich and a Cherry-Wine.  The clerk said, “Sir don’t you know this is a library?”  In a whisper he said, “Oh I’m sorry.  Let me have a BBQ and a Cherry-Wine.”

Keep on smilin’.

Whitey Harwood lives in Rowan County.