There’s a lot of Christmas music and movies we could just do without

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Hagerstown turns on 2022 holiday lights at City Park

Hagerstown turned on its annual holiday light show at City Park on Dec. 2. The show includes lights synchronized with radio music at 90.3 FM.

Julie E. Greene, The Herald-Mail

One of my friends took to Facebook recently to ask the burning question, “if you could erase ONE Christmas song from the world (and everyone’s memory), what would it be?”

“Santa Baby” got lots of votes in this decidedly unscientific poll. I’ve always found that one to be slightly amusing, but I can see how some might find it annoying.

“Last Christmas” also was high on the list, and not without reason, as was “Christmas Shoes.”

“Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” made an appearance, as did a bizarre faux blues-punk tune called “Don’t Shoot Me, Santa.” (Yes, it’s really a thing.)

And one respondent summed up his choices by saying “any songs re: dying parents and hippos.” (Not necessarily in the same song.)

Frankly, I have to say I’m a little impressed by any Christmas song with both “rhinoceroseses” and “hippopotamuses” in the lyrics.

The survey author and I picked the same Most Irritating Song, and for fear of reprisals, I won’t repeat the title here. But I will give you a hint — it starts with “All I Want For Christmas” and doesn’t end with “My Two Front Teeth.”

The next day, this same friend asked what Christmas movie we’d erase from the world (and everyone’s memory). We could all probably think of a few nominees. Or maybe a lot of them.

Same day, a co-worker drew my attention to yet another news release from BetMaryland (see the reference to Maryland’s alleged top Thanksgiving side dishes from my Nov. 20 column).

About that Thanksgiving column:Bet at least one of these dishes will be on your Thanksgiving table.

More Tammy:Desperate to find the right holiday gift? It might be closer than you think.

This time, BetMaryland’s erstwhile researchers had scoured “Google Trends to analyze the most popular Christmas movies among Maryland residents by looking at the search results in Maryland of the Top 40 most popular Christmas movies over the holiday seasons,” and listed what they concluded were Maryland’s Top Five.

(Again, what this has to do with BetMaryland’s real business — sports betting — is not immediately apparent.)

Interestingly, a couple of films, “Home Alone” and “A Christmas Story,” made both lists.

Rounding out BetMaryland’s alleged Top Five were “The Polar Express,” “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” (the Ron Howard version, not the cartoon, apparently) and “Elf.”

Meanwhile, others cited in my friend’s random Facebook survey of movies to “erase” included “Miracle on 34th Street” (!), “It’s a Wonderful Life” (!!) and a bizarre ’60s fantasy called “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians” (yes, it’s really a thing).

I didn’t cast a vote in that survey.

As much as I adored Alan Rickman (and still do, God rest him), I couldn’t decide between “Die Hard” (that one would start the perennial “is it really a Christmas movie?” debate) or “Love Actually” (honestly, my British friends, when you’re depicting Americans from Wisconsin, don’t give them East Tennessee accents).

In fairness, I do have two favorite scenes from “Love Actually” — Hugh Grant dancing down the stairs at 10 Downing St. (just imagine Boris Johnson doing that …) and Rickman anxiously waiting for Mr. Bean himself to wrap a gift at the Selfridge’s jewelry counter.

One respondent, however, summed up the matter rather succinctly:

“Hallmark — the whole channel and all the movies on it.”

Tamela Baker is a Herald-Mail feature writer.

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