The author talks about the book about sex

India still considers the term sex and related words taboo, making it difficult for people to have a healthy sex life. Leeza Mangaldas recently came out with a book titled The sex book, and she’s trying to help youth and adults get to know their bodies better and encourage everyone to start a healthy conversation about sex education. Lisa Mangaldas recently spoke with SheThePeople.

Leeza Mangaldas is a popular face on social media due to her efforts in creating sexual health and awareness content over the past five years. Mangaldas uses fun ways to reach a younger audience by starting a conversation about sex education and knowing about parts of the body that aren’t usually taught in school. It promotes sex positivity and encourages people of all genders, sexual preferences and ages to be more confident in their sexual desires. She encourages them to know the right information and not treat talking about sex and desire as a stigma. She has her own podcast called The Sex Podcast where she hosts and also produces regular sex education content. Mangaldas has a community of 882k on his Instagram where he shares all kinds of conversations with his audience and also listens to them.

Lisa Mangaldas Interview: The Sex Book

Mangaldas shared her experiences while writing the book and the important topics about women and their bodies that are often overlooked or shamed by society. When asked why she felt this was the right time to write this book, Mangaldas explained, “I’ve been creating sex-positive content for almost five years now, and I like doing short content, but I think the topics of sexuality and sex education are so expansive, that a 30 second reel or for that matter 30 minutes is not enough. So I wanted to be able to structure the information and write something like a comprehensive resource for people who want to learn more.”

Myths told to women that need to be stopped

When asked what are the five myths women are told about their bodies, Mangaldas began by pointing out that the whole concept of virginity is wrong and that women are expected to be unrealistic and unscientific. Women are expected to bleed on their first night of sex and the idea of ​​the hymen tearing or breaking her seal. Second, she points out that women are told that sex is painful for them and their pleasure is not talked about. The female clitoris is not talked about, most women do not know that they have it for pleasure, because sex is not only penetration, but also a feeling of good. The fact is that the G-spot is not a specific button to push, but an area around the upper wall of the vagina that can be used to arouse women. Finally, the lie that menstruation is something to be ashamed of should no longer be told.

A male gaze in the book about sex and its name

Mangaldas says that because she is a woman, she brings her own feminine perspective to the narrative. She has tried to foreground women’s bodies and pleasure, as this is her own preference. Removing stigmas around sexual health and reaching out to people regardless of gender and beyond the binary. She says, “I don’t think there’s any conditioning of the male gaze in my book, as I actively resisted it.”

Mangaldas says that even doctors and other medical professionals skip using appropriate sexual terms and instead use euphemisms that show how deeply we are prevented from being sexually positive. She said, “I want to own it and not give in to the shame of calling my book something euphemistic like that.”

Why is female sexuality a stigma?

Mangaldas, answering the question, said, “Women are expected to have babies, not orgasms.” She says that women are forced to obsess over marriage and save themselves for their husbands and it becomes an obligation to their husbands and never in a source of self-discovery. Even the knowledge of contraception is unknown to many. And sometimes only after they have a child are they allowed to sterilize themselves. She asks, “Why can’t women have sex for pleasure? Why are women systematically denied information about their bodies? Why is women’s access to safe methods of contraception limited?’

We have to break this together, it’s never just a women’s issue, it’s everyone’s issue regarding sexuality and the autonomy of women and queer people. We need to be more inclusive and celebrate the sexuality and autonomy of people other than cis-het men.

Mangaldas says that to break the cycle, one needs to start the conversation with oneself and feel comfortable talking to someone else about it. Waiting for others to start will only keep people waiting forever. New parents could start a basic sexuality education dialogue with their children, as well as schools. She points out that this should not be treated as a hobby, but as a basic requirement.

What did the Indian women say to her?

Mangaldas says that most of the Indian women who wrote to her claimed that they had never had an orgasm and that their sex lives were dominated by their male partners. She points out that if you look at orgasm equality statistics and studies say that heterosexual women have the least amount of orgasms compared to heterosexual men, gays or lesbians. She suggests that the script of sexuality needs to be rewritten because it is not accurate. She shares that women who use vibrators for the first time have a eureka moment because it goes against the information they’ve been fed for so long.

How do we approach the younger generation about sex?

When told about the younger generation turning to pornography as a source of sex education due to a lack of conversation at home or school, Mangaldas says it’s inevitable that children will come across pornography at some point in their lives. She is hopeful about making more ethical porn videos to help future generations have better information rather than problematic videos. She believes that porn is a tool that depends on how the viewer uses it. The complete absence of porn will not solve anything, rather it will make them more curious about it. Monitoring problematic videos is more important than using porn as an educational tool, but only as a form of entertainment, she believes.

Is sexual health regressing on the world stage?

With the cases of the United States of America repealing the abortion law or Indonesia passing a law banning sex outside of marriage, Mangaldas thinks it’s a shame that governments and states interfere in people’s private lives. She believes that instead of having more debates and discussions, regressive laws are passed that are simply forced on citizens, which is not very democratic.

Suggested Reading: Banned by Aditi Mangaldas will explore why female sexuality scares society?