(Photo by New Line Cinema / courtesy Everett Collection)
Studio producer Louis B. Mayer (the B stands for Billion) coined the classic Hollywood adage still followed to this day: “You haven’t made it in this town until you’ve made a movie whose title is just a number.” And when one of the letters in MGM talks, you listen. So ever since, directors, being a superstitious lot, have obliged, validating their careers to greatness.
Steven Spielberg, for example, directed 1941, which had nothing to do with anything in the World War II-set comedy, but was actually a sly reference to the number of times the shark broke down in his previous movie, The Sugarland Express. Inspired by Spielberg, Federico Fellini also took a meta approach to naming his opus 8 1/2, which referred to his wife Giulietta Masina’s shoe size. David Fincher took us around the world in Seven, from the Great Pyramid of Giza to the Temple of Artemis to the jacked Statue of Zeus at Olympia.
Also on this list: The 2009 apocalyptic CG movie 9 and its 2009 reboot starring Daniel Day-Lewis. There’s Thirteen, its sequel Twelve, and its prequel Fourteen, with the trilogy recently released on 4K Ultra HD as The Whole Bloody Affair. 1408 is a boobs and blood-soaked re-creation of the Battle of Bramham Moor, which ended the Percy Rebellion and put the Earl of Northumberland in his place once and for all.
42 is a documentary on Douglas Adams. 5-25-77 (pronounced “fifty-two thousand, five-hundred and seventy-seven”) has something to do with nerds. And Billy Crystal directed 61*. If you turn the DVD case around, you’ll see the asterisk text at the bottom reminding viewers that this film has been modified from its original version. It has been formatted to fit this screen.
Most recently, Adam Driver starred in 65, which refers to 65,000,000 years ago when dinosaurs could order at restaurants without getting weird looks, but the title was shortened when studio executives got nervous about so many commas on a movie poster.
What fantastic voyages await us in future movies with titles that are just numbers? What number will get the star treatment next? 54? 11,287? 6.3? Current estimations suggest we’ll run out of numbers to use within a decade, but that’s why Pauline Kael invented remakes. —Alex Vo
#1
Adjusted Score: 103615%
Critics Consensus: Inventive, thought-provoking, and funny, 8 1/2 represents the arguable peak of Federico Fellini’s many towering feats of cinema.
#2
Adjusted Score: 100152%
Critics Consensus: Fourteen subtly establishes the bond between its main characters — and the way longtime friendships can erode by a matter of nearly invisible degrees.
#3
Adjusted Score: 100999%
Critics Consensus: 1945 sifts through the aftermath of the Holocaust to offer a sober, well-crafted look at a variety of weighty themes.
#4
Adjusted Score: 100747%
Critics Consensus: Powerfully directed and acted, ’71 stays true to its fact-based origins while remaining as gripping as any solidly crafted action thriller.
#5
Adjusted Score: 94476%
Critics Consensus: Thanks to director Zak Hilditch’s patient storytelling and strong work from lead Thomas Jane, 1922 ranks among the more satisfying Stephen King adaptations.
#6
Adjusted Score: 115686%
Critics Consensus: Hard-hitting, immersive, and an impressive technical achievement, 1917 captures the trench warfare of World War I with raw, startling immediacy.
#7
Adjusted Score: 90049%
Critics Consensus: Director Wong Kar-Wai has created in 2046 another visually stunning, atmospheric, and melancholy movie about unrequited love and loneliness.
#8
Adjusted Score: 86849%
Critics Consensus: A brutal, relentlessly grimy shocker with taut performances, slick gore effects, and a haunting finale.
#9
Adjusted Score: 88191%
Critics Consensus: 42 is an earnest, inspirational, and respectfully told biography of an influential American sports icon, though it might be a little too safe and old-fashioned for some.
#10
Adjusted Score: 85814%
Critics Consensus: An emotionally wrenching, not to mention terrifying, film about the perils of being a teenager.
#11
Adjusted Score: 85380%
Critics Consensus: Relying on psychological tension rather than overt violence and gore, 1408 is a genuinely creepy thriller with a strong lead performance by John Cusack.
#12
Adjusted Score: 79133%
Critics Consensus: Some tonal inconsistency makes 18 1/2 more of a 7/10, but this well-acted period piece mines the Watergate scandal for fresh, insightful dramedy.
#13
Adjusted Score: 78500%
Critics Consensus: Loosely based on 1957’s 12 Angry Men, Nikita Mikhalkov’s superbly acted 12 is clever and gripping like its predecessor, but with a distinctly Russian feel.
#14
Adjusted Score: 101218%
Critics Consensus: With 2040, documentarian Damon Gameau entertainingly surveys possible solutions to the climate change crisis, offering an unusually optimistic way forward.
#15
Adjusted Score: 47286%
Critics Consensus: No consensus yet.
#16
Adjusted Score: 34319%
Critics Consensus: No consensus yet.
#17
Adjusted Score: 43471%
Critics Consensus: No consensus yet.
Starring:
#18
Adjusted Score: 53041%
Critics Consensus: An endearing dramedy, Seventeen is filled with honesty and sweetness and is sure to move audience.
#19
Adjusted Score: 75101%
Critics Consensus: No consensus yet.
#20
Adjusted Score: 74299%
Critics Consensus: 1984 doesn’t fully emerge from the shadow of its source material, but still proves a solid, suitably discomfiting adaptation of a classic dystopian tale.
#21
Adjusted Score: 69331%
Critics Consensus: Blake Edwards’ bawdy comedy may not score a perfect 10, but Dudley Moore’s self-deprecating performance makes this midlife crisis persistently funny.
#22
Adjusted Score: 69907%
Critics Consensus: A simple-minded but visually exciting experience, full of blood, violence, and ready-made movie quotes.
#23
Adjusted Score: 64744%
Critics Consensus: Although its story is perhaps too familiar and less complex than some might wish, 9 is visually spectacular, and director Shane Acker’s attention to detail succeeds in drawing viewers into the film’s universe.
#24
Adjusted Score: 58246%
Critics Consensus: No consensus yet.
#25
Adjusted Score: 30694%
Critics Consensus: No consensus yet.
#26
Adjusted Score: 48793%
Critics Consensus: 31 delivers all the high-energy gore Rob Zombie fans have come to expect, but a lack of fresh ideas and likable characters mean only the already converted need apply.
#27
Adjusted Score: 47281%
Critics Consensus: No consensus yet.
#28
Adjusted Score: 41330%
Critics Consensus: Steven Spielberg’s attempt at screwball comedy collapses under a glut of ideas, confusing an unwieldy scope for a commensurate amount of guffaws.
#29
Adjusted Score: 14880%
Critics Consensus: No consensus yet.
#30
Adjusted Score: 16405%
Critics Consensus: No consensus yet.
#31
Adjusted Score: 48298%
Critics Consensus: Roland Emmerich’s 2012 provides plenty of visual thrills, but lacks a strong enough script to support its massive scope and inflated length.
#32
Adjusted Score: 46707%
Critics Consensus: It has a game, great-looking cast, led by the always worthwhile Daniel Day-Lewis, but Rob Marshall’s Nine is chaotic and curiously distant.
#33
Adjusted Score: 42164%
Critics Consensus: 21 could have been a fascinating study had it not supplanted the true story on which it is based with mundane melodrama.
#34
Adjusted Score: 39772%
Critics Consensus: Sodden sci-fi that somehow finds a way to bungle Adam Driver fighting dinosaurs, 65 is closer to zero.
#35
Adjusted Score: 11790%
Critics Consensus: No consensus yet.
#36
Adjusted Score: 17767%
Critics Consensus: Robbed of its integral LGBTQ themes, 54 is a compromised and disjointed glance at the glory days of disco.
#37
Adjusted Score: 3924%
Critics Consensus: No consensus yet.
#38
Adjusted Score: 3215%
Critics Consensus: As pretentious as it is hopelessly clichéd, this Twelve is closer to zero.