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Who really needs a salary?
You’re sitting in the waiting room of an office building, listening to your name being called.
You run through potential questions in your mind, desperately trying to remember the answers you’ve practiced. What did you have to say when asked about those years between jobs? What was that buzzword your recruiter kept repeating – synergy? What even is synergy?
You wipe your sweaty palms on your pants, hoping the interviewer won’t notice how wet they are when you go to shake hands (which you’ve also practiced). They usher you into the interview room and all eyes are on you. As you look around the room for a comforting face, you find yourself gripped by imposter syndrome, your stomach twisting into knots.
Suddenly, the idea of getting back under the covers and watching Netflix seems like a lot better life choice than actually interviewing for this job. Who actually needs salary though?
A job interview is never easy. But for people who suffer from anxiety disorders, a job interview is more than stressful. In fact, it can be downright debilitating, preventing some of us from appearing for an interview at all.
So what are you doing? This guide will break down before, during and after the job interview so you can manage your anxiety and even master it – and with practice get the job!
Don’t push him away: Anxiety is a sign that you care about the interview and want to do well. If you tell yourself not to worry, you’re actually more likely to worry even more.
So “embracing” the stress that flares up before your interview and mentally preparing for it can actually help reduce the anxiety you feel as a result.
“As ironic as it sounds, interpreting your anxiety as something that will help you be better prepared can go a long way,” says Jacinta M. Jimenez, Ph.D., a psychologist and certified leadership coach.
In fact, Stanford psychologist Kelly McGonigal has conducted research to show that accepting stress is more important than reducing it. “Stress is not always harmful,” she said in a Stanford article. “Once you appreciate that going through stress makes you better at it, it can be easier to face each new challenge.”
Rather than being a sign that something is wrong with your life, feeling stressed can actually tell us that we are engaged in activities and relationships that are important to us – which is ultimately a positive thing!
Changing the dialogue in our brains can help us adapt and ease the triggers that can escalate our anxiety.
Do a mental audit: The day before the interview, it can be helpful to write down the thoughts that are going through your mind. This helps to get anxious thoughts out of your mind and make them more concrete.
Then review each thought and ask yourself, “Is this true? Is there actual evidence for this thought?
Asking these questions can help you get out of your emotional mind and into a logical one, leaving you more centered. And if these thoughts come up during your interview, you’ll be able to address them internally more quickly and refocus.
The day of your interview is here. You’ve practiced in the mirror, prepared for the anxiety. Now it’s show time. If you take care of your physical health the night before and during the day, you will likely see positive results during the interview process itself!
Practice mindfulness: Increase awareness of the physiological cues in your body when you feel anxious. Remember those sweaty palms from before? They can serve as a reminder to ground yourself in the present moment by calming your body.
For example, if you feel a knot in your stomach, tightness in your chest, tension in your neck or shoulders, a clenched jaw, or a racing heart, use this as a reminder to bring your mind’s attention back to the here and now.
Pay really close attention: Get plenty of sleep and don’t forget to eat a nutritious breakfast that can fuel you for a long time. Consider something low in sugar and carbs to avoid an energy crash later in the day! In fact, if you can do it, skip the cup of coffee right before the interview. Think of a cup of coffee as a treat for yourself after the interview is over.
Carry an essential oil, such as lavender, which research suggests can temporarily calm anxiety. Place a few points on your wrists and pulse points just before entering. If CBD works to calm you down, grab some CBD gum and keep it handy.
Studies show that listening to music before a standardized stressor can help the nervous system recover more quickly, as well as the psychological response to stress. Consider making a pumped-up playlist or listening to music that helps calm you down while driving or commuting to the interview.
Try to focus on a positive mantra. You did the work. You deserve this job. Remember this.
Congratulations! You survived the interview. Now take a deep breath because the hard part is over. The next part, the waiting, just requires patience and a lot of self-compassion.
Practice Radical Acceptance: In other words? I know You will be OK regardless of the outcome. Sometimes the first or even fifth job that comes along isn’t the right one, but that doesn’t mean the right job isn’t out there for you!
“The more attached you are to an outcome, the more likely you are to grasp it, cling to it, and strive for that outcome, increasing the chance you’ll suffer if the outcome doesn’t go your way,” says Jori Rose, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “So go in with confidence and preparation, and it’s okay if you don’t get it.”
Celebrate no matter what: It helps to have a plan to celebrate regardless of how the interview went. Make a plan with a friend to grab dinner or drinks after the interview.
Doing something positive, no matter how the experience went, can give you something to look forward to, and having a friend to give you perspective will help ease your anxiety. The last thing you want to do is go home alone and have the interview on repeat in your head all night!
Don’t overdo the following: Sending a “thank you” email to everyone who interviewed you is great form when it comes to job interviews, but don’t let it add to your stress. No need to rethink email!
Simply: “Thank you very much for your time. I appreciate the opportunity. It was a pleasure to meet you and I look forward to hearing from you,” I will.
“Instead of criticizing yourself as you go through the process, try to engage and respond to your inner voice in the same way you would a close friend or loved one,” says Dr. Jimenez.
Those conducting your interview have all been interviewed at one point and know how nerve-wracking an interview can be. They will likely sympathize with you regardless of how your interview went.
Be kind to yourself – if you wouldn’t humiliate a friend after an interview, why would you humiliate yourself? Take pride in knowing that every time you face your fears, you become more resilient to them, no matter what the outcome.
Megan Drillinger is a travel and wellness author. Her focus is on getting the most out of experiential travel while maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Her writing has appeared in Thrillist, Men’s Health, Travel Weekly, and Time Out New York, among others. Visit her blog or Instagram.
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